2012; A Year of Change. I hope.

2011 was a blunder. For most part.

2011 was amongst worst year of my life. 2011 along with 1990, 1995 and 2002; the darkest year of my life. Nothing could be compared to any other year of my 27 years of life. There were year that was not that good but not that sucky either. Those 4 years absolute-gut-wrenching, huge-punch-to-groin-and-big-slap-to-the-face years which leave me numb for a while.

2011 was a year of disappointment. Lots of missing key events (especially at work). Years of depression (also at work).

One shining light in 2011 was my daughter. Her birth light my world. Truely.

Let's review how my 2011 went by:

Work
I finally got out, said it out loud and stood my ground that I had enough. I'm doing this job for 3 freaking years. Yeah, not that long but nothing more I could learn at this job. Not that I'm an expert per se but the learning curve flatlined in 2011. So, I requested for transfer. Well, I did requested in 2010 but considering the situation at work (given the incident and what not), I accepted the fact that I got to stay.

Involved with a lab (kinda like focus discussion) which resulted in me missing major part of budget exercise. After that, got hospitalized. Again. Missing the major part of budget exercise. Again. By then, my motivation just take a nose dive.

Then, that was that. End of life line.

But now that my replacement came in and I got to teach them on things that I had done for 3 years, I realized that I had done alot these past 3 years. Some people in a department in KL referred me as "budget godfather"; somewhat make me flattered. There are people who look up to me for something and with the knowledge that I have, I feel quite fulfilled with what I had achieved past 3 years.

Getting someone to understand what I tried hard to understand make me feel good. Well, maybe I should be in teaching profession instead of this job.

Well, let see how the future roll.

Anyhow, 2011 was year of my daughter. My babe. 24/07/2011; a day of magical sunshine broke into my gloomy day of 2011. Alhamdulillah, I was there with Eme went thru the whole process. Yurp kids, I see how the scissors, the nurses, the doctor and the baby; the whole process. Scary? Surprisingly, not much I must say. I got not much fear of blood, years of scrolling down rotten.com and watching gore movies/pictures somehow beneficial in the time of needs like this.

Eme and me decided to name the baby Hannah. Just Hannah, no Nur, Noor, Siti, Nurul whatsoever. One simple word; Hannah. Cause we thought it would be easy for her in the future; her name not that early in alphabet order means she will get called for dentist or exam too early; not getting first row at exam. Her name not too long thus make the teachers, JPN people and us having hard time in future to write her name down and/or teach her how to spell her name. And her name could be a universal name; Caucasian, Asian and Arabs use the same name with the same spelling thus make it easy for her to travel anywhere.

Well, at least that the thought. Owh, and her name is a palindrome. Hannah; spelling from front to back and vice versa the same.

So, that's that my 2011. Amongst worst year of my life but not going down as the worst as Hannah was born.

2012; I hope a year of change. Change my job, change my job grade, change my salary, change my motivation, change my health status. I hope and work towards it. I hope it will be a better year if not the best.

So, merry 2012 everyone.